everyone is home and safe

july 27, 2007
Home

I am very sorry to all who actually read this blog, I have been very busy and it has slipped my mind to update what has been happening with our adoption. I am currently back in the “states”, I flew in 3 days ago on the flight that was originally planned when we started this adventure. My dad and brother, however, are still in Liberia due to some unexpected troubles with the U.S. Embassy. Fortunately, things seem to have straightened themselves out and my dad and brother should be home soon.
I will try and post a few more stories about what it’s like being back and I will defiantly announce when the adoption is finished so check back in a few days for more information.
I enjoyed exploring Liberia and seeing how much the culture differs from America; many things we would consider offensive or shocking are really just blown up assumptions of what our society thinks. I now see that Africa is different and we should love it for where it’s at, and not judge it by what we know as “our” normal.

July 18, 2007
The process

If you are planning on a adopting from Liberia there are certain things that have to be done on Liberian side as well as on the American side (if that’s where you’re from). The American side is very standard; everyone does the same thing and fills out the same forms. But on the Liberian side many things change and unexpected forms have to be filled out at the last second (if your not careful). Here’s what happens on the Liberian side

The process starts when the closest relative places the child in an orphanage and signs a form releasing his/her “rights” as a parent or guardian to the orphanage (However, the parent still has rights and can withdraw the child at any time for any reason). After the form is signed, the orphanage can care for the child until he/she is adopted or becomes older than 16. The rest of the adoption process is not started until a family is located for the child.

Once a family is found, many things happen all at once.
- A history is compiled of the child’s family and background. In theory it should be some what like a home study, where a social worker visits the relatives of the child and writes down their story. However in Liberia just finding the parents could take many weeks.
- The child is taken to a clinic for a medical and physical check-up, all necessary vaccinations are done at this time also.
- The proper papers are gathered like birth and death certificates, releases and court papers.
- A passport can also be applied for at this time

Once all those are finished then everything is sent to court. This is where the Liberian government cross checks all the information and makes sure there is no “foul play”. They then make the adoption legal on the Liberian side. The rest is preparing to adopt in America.
Really the only thing needed after this is a visa, passport and travel arrangements for going to America. Once a passport is applied, it shouldn’t take more than 4 weeks to acquire. The visa is the same way but you should except to wait a little bit longer because the embassy also does a cross check of all the information and gets the adoption ready to become final in America. Fortunately both the passport and visa can be processed at the same time. The last thing is to send conformation is the American family saying that everything is complete and they can pick up their new son/daughter.

There are a few things I would like to note about this process for those who what to or are going to adopt.
- Many unexpected things can and probably will happen if you decided to adopt so plan for at least 6 months to a year before the adoption becomes complete.
- Adoption is not something that should be taken light heartedly; it is something that will change everything about your life, and the life of the kid(s) you are adopting. (it’s a forever thing)
- Go though an adoption agency; there are many things that are best handled by people who have a good name at the various government departments here. Also they know what they are doing.
- The cost for adopting is around $4000 to $6000 USD in Liberia.
- The cost for staying in Monrovia is high compared to other places and you should expect to pay about $50 a day per person if you want everything you have in America (food, hot running water, internet, and your own room).

(Please know that I don’t know everything and I might be wrong about a few things contained in this blog entry. I am just stating what I have observed and what we were told while staying here in Monrovia.)

july 15, 2007 (40 days in Africa)

The little things

I have recently come to the realization that, little things count when it comes to taking an extended overseas trip. For instance, my hair has gotten to be very long over the past few weeks. This is because when my dad and I were planning to leave, we were thinking only about “big” things we needed. Unfortunately, a haircut wasn’t on the list of “big” things, so now I am sitting here with long hair simply because I didn’t take care of the little things which I have found to be extremely annoying the past few days. All this reminds me of camping trips my family always takes where we would forget a pillow or a sleeping bag and have to go without it for a week, only this time it’s for almost two months and we can’t just drive home to get it. So if you have a big trip coming up think about all the small things first because there’re what will make the trip enjoyable.

(NOTE; there are no barber shops around here that can cut “white man” hair)

July 11, 2007
Arrested?

I had a few people ask me about me an entry I made not to long ago, where I mentioned being “arrested” by the police. The grounds for us actually being stopped in the first place are questionable and looking back it seems like more of a joke. But to end any worry and or questions I will tell about our small brush with the “law.”

To start out with you need an understanding of how things work here. Liberian law is very flexible and if you really wanted to, most laws can be bypassed if you paid the right people. Although its getting better the police is are not exempt from this search for bribes. Ask most missionaries here and they will tell of some very funny police stories.

Anyway …..

We were driving down one of the main streets here in Monrovia and were planning on dropping someone off at a nearby side street before turning around and heading home. We made it to the street safely then turned onto the designated entry ramp (there was a medium sized island in the center) dropped off the person, and then pulled right back onto the exit ramp. Unfortunately a nearby police officer saw this and stopped us for what he called an unsafe turn. There were no other cars in the immediate area and there were no signs that said we couldn’t turn but we could see that the officer was not going to back down (warnings don’t exist here), so we asked what we needed to do. At first the officer was extremely confusing, but after about 3 min, he concluded that we are “arrested” and needed to get in the back of the police truck so he could take us to the court house. When my dad finally got a word in he simply said “I’m not leaving my car”. It took another 15 min of talking (with 3 officers and 2 UN police) to conclude that the car needed to be “impounded” for 1 and ½ hours time so we would “learn our lesson”. We agreed to this because it didn’t involve money and we had just finished everything we had to do for that day. So we parked our car on the side of the road and began to wait. Not long after that the same police officer who pulled us over came to us and said that the fine for reckless driving is $50 USD. We both knew what he was after (because he didn’t say this when all the other officers were around), so my dad politely said “what, you said I made an unsafe turn, there was nothing said about reckless driving” this ended all requests for money.
We sat in our car for an hour before the UN police came back around and was able to get us out early. Unfortunately, (to keep us from driving away early) the first police officer had taken my dads license and for some reason had given it to another officer who then ran off to do other “police duties”. This was annoying but it didn’t take that long to track down and recover his license.
Well, that’s pretty much the story. We made it though without paying anything and we did everything that was asked of us. I just hope next time it will go as smoothly as it did this time (if there is a next time).

July 8, 2007
The Liberian Shake

If you walk up to any Liberian and try to shake their hand chances are they will see if you know the Liberian handshake. So to save you from embarrassment (and to maybe get you a little more respect) I will attempt to explain how to master this easy African greeting.
The shake starts just like in America, you extend your right hand and grasp his right hand just like you would if you were in a business meeting back in the states. This used to always throw me off just because I didn’t know whether or not to; continue the shake, stop there, or use the informal shake.

If you are going to do the full shake – start like I just said (like an American) but move directly into a kind of “brother” shake. This is done by using your thumbs to pivot so your fingers are on top of the other person’s wrist; you are now opposite the “American” form (where the fingers are on the bottom). Once you are there pivot back into the “American shake”. These three steps happen very quickly and depending on how much of a hurry you are in, generally takes at the very most 3 seconds to complete.
Once those three steps are finished the pace is usually slowed down a bit, so a proper conversation can begin (Don’t let small talk catch you off guard though, because the last two actions are very important and will decide how much respect you get). The forth step is more of a transition than a step, slide you hand back a little bit but at the same time bend the tips of your fingers inward, so they catch on the tips of the other person. This action is more important than you might think because it will guide you into the next step (which is what makes it truly Liberian). Once you finish step four, remove all fingers except the middle one, then using your thumb quickly snap using the top of the other person’s middle finger. The snap is done just like a normal one person snap, the only difference is you are using someone else’s finger instead of your own. It took me a long time to get a good snap, so keep working at it if you don’t get it the first time.

If you are going to do the informal shake – start out with the normal “American” shake but move directly to the “snap” (step five).

So now that you know the formal and the informal Liberian handshake, you must now learn when to use them.

The formal shake is mostly used for…
- first meetings
- and introductions

The informal shake is used for…
- agreeing with a statement
- people passing by
- warm welcomes
- the end of conversations and departures

The “how to” and the “when to” of the Liberian shake is a somewhat easy task to master, but because this is a cultural thing there are many unspoken rules that need to be learned. I’ll give you a little bit of a head start by listing a few (if you want to find out the rest you are going to have to come to Africa and learn them yourself)

- Everyone here knows about “the shake”
- Most Liberians will use it to test how much you really know about Liberia.
- A loud snap is very good
- A firm shake is considered a small sign of strength and power
- It’s more of a man-to-man shake, woman (usually) only do a weak informal or American shake
- If someone sticks out there hand its disrespectful to not take it
- if you are ever unsure about which shake to use I find it best to just use the informal shake
People here are very proud of it, so if you do happen to come over here not knowing all this you will learn very quickly.


That’s about all you need to know for now. I hope someday you will come to Africa and try it with a real Liberian (if you haven’t already) because it is a really good way to connect with the people here. My dad and I have made some good friends just because we have this one thing in common.

Sickness
The past few days I have not been feeling the greatest. My stomach and throat are feeling out of sorts also the weather is uncomfortable and at times I feel light headed. I think it will pass in a few days but it’s not fun being sick in a foreign country